


All the Years Just Blend Together With You

by Swanspirate520



Series: Alone Together [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Accidental Pregnancy, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bellarke, Bellarke fic, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kid Fic, Post 5X13, Pregnancy, Romance, Slow Burn, The 100 - Freeform, bellamy Blake and Clarke griffin - Freeform, bellamy and clarke - Freeform, bellamy and clarke the 100, pregnancy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:28:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26705254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swanspirate520/pseuds/Swanspirate520
Summary: "why is it just us" Bellamy and Clarke wake up to early from cryo sleep and must navigate spending the next few years alone together.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellarke - Relationship
Series: Alone Together [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1943443
Comments: 7
Kudos: 144





	1. this might actually work... if neither of us accidently confess our love for each other

Bellamy's eyes fluttered open as his pod shifted forward, the top popping open. He felt as if he had been asleep mere seconds, instead of years that his brain was telling him it was. His vision was hazy with sleep, blinking a few times they soon focused. He first saw a flash of blonde leaning over him "Hey."

"Hey." He repeated back his voice thick with sleep. He Blinked again this time trying to stop himself from getting lost in her eyes. Sitting up swiftly with a grunt which he regretted almost immediately.

His eyes caught sight of the hallway, causing his brows to furrow “Why is it just us?" 

"I...I don't know," Clarke murmured clearly just as confused as Bellamy.

Bellamy shifted his legs over the bed, his feet dangling for a moment before he jumped to the ground. Clarke followed him when he started towards the control panel. With a push of a button the door opened, leading to the control room. Clarke followed suit trying to keep up with Bellamy's hurried step. His brow furrowed even more, his head whipped around the room, mind racing

"Why is it just us?" he repeated, his head stopped and he rapidly moved towards what caught his eye. A video on the screen, with a note that read play me. Bellamy snuck a glance back at Clarke briefly before pushing his finger down on the keyboard. Monty appeared before them. 

"They didn't go to sleep" Bellamy whispered so quietly it was barely audible. Towards the end of Monty's speech, the blinds on the window opened causing both their eyes to be ripped from the screen. The place Monty was speaking about wasn't there; it was just deep, cold, empty space.

"Where is it?" Bellamy questioned rushing towards the window, only to be met with nothing in sight. "It's not here!" Bellamy proclaimed hitting the glass. Clarke leaned down and looked through the computer seeing the files Monty mentioned. Bellamy heard Clarkes breath hitch when she found what she was looking for. 

"We woke up too soon," Clarke said motioning Bellamy over. "Look" she spoke pointing at the screen. "We're still a little over two years away."

"Then why are we awake?" Bellamy asked out loud.

"Monty set a countdown for us to wake up first, but something must have gone wrong." 

"Is there a way to reset the countdown; so, we can go back to sleep and wake up in two years like we were supposed to?"

"I think so." Clarke responded turning back to the screen "hold on" she turned her head, looking at Bellamy, his face only inches from hers; she could feel his breath against her face. 

She cleared her throat whipping her head back towards the computer. "Okay I think if we get back in our pods then we will go back to asleep and we'll wake up when were actually supposed to" 

Bellamy nodded standing up straight ready to go back to their pods "Bellamy wait"

"Yeah?" he questioned raising his eyebrow.

"uhm," Clarke hesitated "never mind" she said back chickening out. He nodded not wanting to press her on whatever she was going to say. Clarke stood up following Bellamy back to their pods.

Clarke walked straight over to the place she's laid for countless years. Before laying down she turned towards Bellamy who was already staring back at her. "Well good night I guess" Clarke spoke.

"Good night " Bellamy repeated back before laying down in his pod. They both squeezed their eyes shut waiting for sleep to take hold of them. Clarke huffed in frustration opening her pod to see Bellamy doing the same. 

"Why isn't it working?" Clarke questions not expecting him to have the answer. 

"I don't know. Let's just try again" Bellamy suggested watching as Clarke slipped back into her pod closing her eyes. After a few beats she shook her head "Nothing."

"There must be something wrong with our pods" Clarke jumped out of her pod towards the control panel. Her eyes scan over the screen. Bellamy could tell the moment she found what she was looking for her whole body seemed to tense.

"What is it?" he questioned, clearly alarmed by the look that rested on her face.

Clarke shook her head trying to disguise how she felt "Nothing, I know what's wrong get back in your pod"

Bellamy shook his head; he knew she was lying to him; something wasn't right. "No, not until you tell me what's going on"

She stared at him for a moment before relenting, she knew he wasn't going to just let it go. "They have to be turned on manually"

"Soo..." he stated, not comprehending what that meant exactly.

"One of us would have to turn on the others" she paused taking a deep breath "and stay awake." 

"And you were just going to-" he paused "what...Put me to sleep and not tell me. Sacrificing yourself again"

"It's not like I'll die, you'll see me in two years like no time has passed at all"

"Except it has, you'd be all by yourself" He yelled back flinging his hands in the air. Angry at her for even suggesting he leave her. "It's not happening! we'll find another way, together like always."

"I've been alone before" Clarke regretted the words the moment they left her lips. The look on Bellamy's face as if he had just been slapped; which is another thing she regrets. "There is no other way" she says softer.

"Then I'll-" He starts ready to do this because if there's one thing he knows in this world it's that he'd do anything for Clarke Griffin.

"No Bellamy, that's not happening" she says, cutting him off, knowing that she would never let him do that; not for her.

"Why does it always have to be you sacrificing yourself? It's my turn to sacrifice for you" Bellamy pleads. "It's my turn" he whispered more to himself then to her.

"Bellamy-"

"No, I'm not leaving you again." He says leaving no room for argument "So I guess we better get ready to spend the next few years alone on this ship together." He pauses, his tone is lighter "maybe we can finally have that drink."

Clarke cracked a smile before throwing herself in his arms. "Are you sure?"

"Easiest decision I've ever made." Clarke's smile widened as she dug her face into the crook of his neck. 

They finally released each other; Clarke's face turned serious, switching into survival mode. "How are we going to do this?"

"Monty and Harper did it. They clearly got an algae farm up and running, all of us survived the ring for six years; you and me can do this for two." Clarke nodded knowing they could do anything if they were together. 

"You hungry?" Bellamy questioned.

"Starving." Clarke responded with a giggle

"I bet I can find us a decent meal around here," Bellamy said, smirking. This place already felt like home, but anywhere felt like home with Clarke.

"If decent is the word you want to use"

They wandered around for a while until they stumbled upon the "kitchen." Bellamy started whipping them up some algae immediately upon hearing Clarke's stomach growling.

"Oh my god that is so gross" Clarke said, making a sour face as she slurped down the algae.

Bellamy laughed "You get used to it"

"Really?" Clarke questioned him.

"No, it tastes just as bad the hundredth time you eat it" Bellamy answered causing a giggle to burst from Clarke. They were already so domestic, and Bellamy loved it; loved her.

Bellamy set down his bowl, his face growing serious, shoulders tense. "So, as we are stuck here alone for at least the next two years we should probably talk."

"Probably." Clarke agreed, closing her eyes preparing herself for this much needed conversation.

Bellamy took a long deep breath trying to decide where to start. "Madi told me." He spoke softly knowing this would be a touchy subject for her. 

"About what" she tried to play dumb, but he saw right through her; he always did.

"You radioed me every day for six years," he paused standing up. "God Clarke, I'm sorry." His voice broke tears forming in both their eyes.

"You have nothing to apologize for, I should be the one-" Clarke started.

"I'm sorry I left you" he continued ignoring her protests. "I'm sorry I couldn't hear you all those years, I'm sorry about how I treated you when we first came down, I was scared."

"scared of what?" Clarke asked brows pinched together genuinely confused about what he could be possibly scared of. 

"Of you, I was scared that if I let you in again then something would happen and I would lose you again and I can't...I can't do that again. When we...When I left you behind I hated myself, and I hated everyone around me because they weren’t you, and I hated you for always sacrificing yourself and for not getting back in time” 

he paused taking in a deep breath before continuing. “And I hated the whole fucking universe for taking you away from me. I was broken for years and I was just starting to put myself back together and then you were alive, and fuck…” he halted taking another breath 

“I don't think I have ever been so happy in my life. But I was broken again and was consumed by hate all over; because I left you all alone for six years. God Clarke six fucking years." He finished out of breath tears streaming down his face.

"Bellamy I-" her voice breaking. 

He stepped forward wrapping his arms tightly around her. "But I can't let the fear of losing you keep me away from you; not anymore." He whispered into the top of her head.

"I'm sorry too" she sobs into his neck

He starts shaking his head "you have nothing to be sorry for"

"I left you to die" she says backing away from his hold.

"Clarke-"

"No Let me get this out. I have done a lot of things that I regret that make me hate myself but leaving you is the worst thing I've ever done" she said, choking on her words.

"I know what it's like to risk everything for one person, Madi she's your family-" 

"you're my family too." Clarke spoke without hesitation. "I know you have your own family now, and I'm not a part of that, but you should know you're my family, always have been." Clarke said, unsure of everything except that fact. 

Bellamy's brows went together, shaking his head. He had no idea where she got the idea that she wasn't just as important to him as he was to her. "Clarke of course you're my family."

"In the bunker you said you had to protect your family seemed like you were making it perfectly clear that I wasn't a part of that; at least not anymore." Clarke added weekly.

"That's not... that's not what I meant, I'm sorry I made you think you weren't important to me, because Clarke you are, you're so important to me." 

Clarke wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into another embrace. Bellamy pulled back smiling at her, he felt like a big weight had been lifted off his chest. His hand came up and moved a stand of hair out of her face. Clarke smiled back at Bellamy, a yawn ripping through her, causing Bellamy's smile to widen. 

"We slept for over hundred years how can I possibly be this tired" Clarke questioned restraining yet another yawn.

Bellamy huffed out a laugh "We should probably get some sleep"

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea" Clarke agreed. Bellamy walked out of the kitchen followed closely by Clarke. They stepped down a long hallway that led them to their rooms. Bellamy stopped outside a metal door.

"I guess I'll take this one" Bellamy announced; Clarke nodded choosing to reside in the room across from it. They both hovered unsure of what to do "Well good night." Clarke said creaking her door open.

"Yeah, uh...goodnight" Bellamy stumbled awkwardly. They both stepped into their respected rooms. Bellamy looked around at the room, it was plain, cold, and empty. It felt like he was back on the ark. A place that only left him pain and heartbreak; first Octavia was locked up and his mom was floated, then on the ring it was a consistent reminder of him leaving Clarke. He hoped this place would be better for him, for them.

He pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it on the nearby chair; before doing the same with his jeans. He pulled on the blanket, climbing underneath it. He didn't know how tired he truly was until his head hit the pillow and his eyes closed, consumed by sleep in seconds.

Bellamy was pulled from his sleep when he heard the echo of a scream. He quickly ripped back the blanket he was currently wrapped in and ran towards the door. 

"Clarke!" he yelled as he flung her door open. Her cheeks were red, and stained with tears, she looked...well... terrified. "Are you okay?" Bellamy asked, coming to stand by her bed.

"Yeah, I'm fine" she spoke calmly like she hadn't just woken up screaming. "It was just a nightmare. I'm sorry I woke you up." 

Bellamy shook his head "No, don't apologize. Do you want to talk about it?"

Clarke was the one to shake her head this time "No, not really" Bellamy nodded leaning down to wipe the tears that soaked her face. 

"Are you going to be okay?" he spoke softly. 

"Yeah, I'll be fine" Clarke mimicked his tone. Bellamy reluctantly turned to leave. He would give anything to take away the pain she carried with her; he wishes he could comfort her better but doesn’t want to overstep. He was almost at the door when Clarke's voice stopped him "Bellamy?" She sounded so small, so very unlike Clarke it startled him.

"Yeah?" He turned back towards her, waiting for her to continue.

She looked up at him with hopeful eyes "Stay." She whispered, shrugging her shoulders; she sounded so unsure of herself, another un Clarke like thing to do.

Bellamy nodded "Of course" the truth is he didn't want to leave her. The sound of her screaming terrified him. Rationally he knew there was no real danger here as they were the only two people awake on the whole ship but the thought of her in danger; it scares the hell out of him. She scooted over giving him space to slide on to the bed. They both settled under the covers, Clarke's head coming to rest on his chest. 

"I thought they had stopped." Clarke whispered liking the reassuring beat of his heart under her ear. "I used to have nightmares of you dying all the time. Either you would die in the rocket or suffocate on the ring. I had them so often that I was scared to close my eyes. When you came back, they stopped because I knew you were alive, I could finally breathe again. But then I left you to die and it's worse I keep seeing myself killing you over and over again." She choked out consumed by sobs ripping through her.

Bellamy tightened his grip around her. "I'm right here" he placed his lips on the top of her head soothingly. "I'm right here" he repeated, not sure of what else to say that would make her feel better. Bellamy held her till she fell asleep, he watched over her all night praying she wouldn't have any more nightmares. She suffered so much while she was awake is it so much to ask for that she gets peace in her sleep? Them sleeping in the same bed quickly joined the list of things they never talk about.

  
  


They had been there a week when Bellamy found Monty's old stash of moonshine. Bellamy walked the hallway to Clarke's room. The door was slightly open, he peeked in to see her sitting on her bed, with a pencil and sketch book in hand. He lightly tapped on the door to get her attention. Her head popped up at the noise. He pulled his hand from behind his back to reveal the bottle of alcohol. "How about that drink" Clarke let out a chuckle before tossing her latest masterpiece on her bed. Bellamy only got a quick glance, but he could have sworn he saw the start of his unruly hair. But decided against questioning her, and simply followed after.

"I already know I'm going to regret this," Clarke said, taking a sip straight from the bottle before handing it back to Bellamy.

"It's worse than I remember" Bellamy spoke with a sour look on his face handing Clarke back the bottle. They did this passing the bottle between the two; before long neither were left sober. They were both laughing hysterically when the flashing red button caught Bellamy's eye.

"I wonder what this one does," Clarke said, giggling pressing a button. Bellamy laughed back at her pressing his finger into the one he discovered moments ago "Bellamy it's been 347 days since praimfaya, it's almost been a year" Was heard throughout the speaker.

Clarke's face immediately paled "Turn it off!"

"When did you record that?" Bellamy asked obliviously, too drunk to understand he clicked the button again and the noise ceased.

"It doesn't matter, I'm going to go to bed' Clarke said a lot more sober than she was a minute ago.


	2. Those Unfinished Conversations We Used to Have Still Speak to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy listens to Clarkes radio calls

Clarke entered the mess hall, spotting Bellamy at a table; a bowl of algae in front of him. "Hey" she spoke quietly not knowing if he remembers anything from last night.

"Not so loud" Bellamy groaned, causing Clarke to giggle.

"Sorry" she said, very unapologetic, Taking a seat opposite of him. He slid over the bowl that sat waiting for her beside him.

"So... last night was I super drunk or... did I hear your radio calls" He spoke slowly trying to find the right words.

"Both." Clarke whispered trying to laugh it off to show him she was fine when she was anything but. Her eyes looked anywhere but him, knowing she would break if she looked at him.

Bellamy nodded seeing right through like he always does. He knows this is overwhelming her, so he treads lightly when he asks "How?"

"I don't know this ship must have received all of my radio calls and recorded them for some reason."

"Would it be okay" He stopped himself taking a deep breath before continuing. "Would it be okay if I listened to them"

"There are things on there you wouldn't want to hear" he nodded understanding that they were private and respecting her wishes; he wouldn't bring it up again seeing how uncomfortable they made her. "But they were for you so if you want to then, I guess go ahead" Clarke continued, she took a deep breath knowing he had a right to hear them.

"Are you sure, because Clarke you have to be sure. It's okay if you don't want me to, I understand." He reached across the table taking her hand.

"They were meant for you to hear them, so you should" she got up knowing she couldn't sit through those; and he would probably want to get started right away. "it might take you awhile there are a lot"

"I've got time" he said, flashing her a grin. 

Clarke turned back towards the door, only making it a few steps before turning to face him again. "oh, and Please skip day 698" She tries to sound casual but the way her voice breaks gives her away. She hopes he doesn’t question why she remembers the exact day, but in her mind all she can think is how could she forget.

He nods not wanting to overstep when she is already showing him such a personal thing. He finished his bowl, washed it, and placed it back in the kitchen; before making his way to the control room. Sitting down in the middle of the panel. He took a shaky deep breath preparing himself before pushing his finger down pushing the button in.

_ "Bellamy, I made it. I'm alive, the night blood worked. Come in. I know this probably isn't going to work but it's worth a shot" _

_ "it's been 26 days since praimfaya. I'm better now, healing. I found the rover buried deep in the aftermath of praimfaya. but I'm sure I can dig it out, I've got five years to do it. By now Monty should have the algae farm up and running; how bad does it suck?" _

_ "It's been 39 days since praimfaya. I finally got the rover out; I'm leaving Becca's lab heading to the bunker" she took a deep breath. "I miss you. I miss all of you of course, But I-" she paused. "anyway, I should get going before it gets dark just wanted to check in with you before I left" _

_ "It's been 42 days since praimfaya I'm at the bunker. Bad news it's completely buried under rubble. I can't dig it out by myself. I guess it's just me. I thought...I don't know I thought I could make it in the bunker, and everything would be okay but. I'm all alone now. I guess not totally alone I got you. Even when you're not here you're always with me, even if I am just talking to myself, you're what's keeping me sane; no pressure of course." _

_ "It's been 48 days since praimfaya. What's the point if all there is, is pain and suffering? Real cheerful, Clarke. I'm sorry, ignore me; okay? I haven't had water in two days. In case this is the last time I get to do this...I- please don't feel bad about leaving me here; you did what you had to do, I'm proud of you." _

_ "Sometimes I just feel like giving up, is any of this even worth it? All this it just gets to be too much. Maybe I should just end my suffering now. Instead of starving to death, prolonging the inevitable. I'm sorry, Happy thoughts Clarke." Her shaky breath could be heard clearly through the radio static "I'm still breathing right" _

_ "I don't know how much longer I'm going to make it. I'm out of water, I haven't been able to find any food. Not a lot survived the wave. If I don't find any soon..." _

_ "Today I held a gun to my head, I was so close to ending it there. You probably already think I'm dead. But then I thought of you and I hesitated. In that second of hesitation a bird flew over me. I followed it to this beautiful valley. You should see it. It's like the whole wave jumped over it. There are trees and flowers and Berries did I mention I found berries! A whole field of them. They're not very sweet but they're beautiful. I think they used them to make paint." _

Tears were streaming down Bellamy's face. He knew it had to be bad but, she almost... he couldn't even think about it. There was a giant sinking feeling in his stomach. He felt like he was going to... He rushed over to the bucket in the corner of the room and dumped the contents of his stomach into it. Coughing he sank to the wall beside him openly sobbing. The thought that he left her there, alone. He hated himself before, but never this much. 

_ "You won't believe this. There's someone else here, they survived. She's just a child, and she's all alone. She attacked me. But I won't hold it against her. We did the same thing when we were alone. We attacked the grounders when we first got sent down here but at least, we had each other." _

_ "Madi thinks I'm crazy talking to you every day. Maybe I am" _

_ "Happy Unity Day, I hope Monty made a batch of moonshine and you are all celebrating because me and Madi are; we are preparing quite the feast. Did I tell you she finally let me brush her hair? You should have seen it; it was a disaster. I wish you were here." _

_ "The thought of you is what keeps me going" _

_ "I think the hardest part is not knowing, you could have never made it to the ring, and I would never know" _

_ “It's been 697 days since Praimfaya Madi keeps asking for more stories about you, I keep telling her I've told them all. It's weird to think about how little time we've really known each other; like we've been apart way longer then we were ever together. I feel like I've known you my whole life, Madi keeps telling me to put the radio down. I'll talk to you tomorrow, and maybe you could chime in I feel like I'm doing all the talking" _

Bellamy skips the next one just like he promised, but what could she have possibly said that she didn't want him to hear so far, he's heard her angry, vulnerable, starving and almost at the brink of ending it all. 

_ "Three more days before you come down! I don't even know what I'm going to say to you. I have been talking to you all these years but I'm certain you haven't heard any of this, so my first words to you in five years should be significant. Well at least I feel like they should be. I don't know, maybe I'm just scared you forgot about me, that everything will be different, we'll be different." _

Bellamy pauses preparing himself for what he knows will come next. He’s disappointed her so many times in so many ways and he can’t bear to do it again. Even though it already happened he feels like he’s living it for the first time. He never told anyone but when Raven told them they didn’t have the fuel to go back down he actually felt relieved. Earth was the place he left Clarke behind to die and that’s all it was ever going to be from then on. How could ever be happy in a place where all he felt was that constant reminder. 

Reluctantly he pulled himself together gathering all his courage, he continued. 

_ "Where are you? You should have been here by now. Please don’t be dead.” _

_ “Madi thinks I made you up, so if you could come back so she doesn't think I'm crazy you would really be doing me a solid.” _

_ "God, this would be so much easier if I knew you were alive. If I knew I was going to see you again." _

_ "Bellamy if you can hear me...if you're alive, it's been 2,199 days since Praimfaya I don't know why I still do this everyday, maybe it's my way of staying sane not forgetting who I am, who I was. anyway, it's been safe for you to come down for over a year now so why haven't you aim for the patch of green never mind I see you" _

  
  
  


It had been a month since he started listening to all of Clarke's radio calls when he finally finished. He hadn't seen a whole lot of Clarke in that time, since he mainly spent all his time listening to the recordings and she seemed to want to be as far away as possible from them.

"Hey" Bellamy spoke softly as he entered her room. She was perched up on her bed with a book in hand.

"Hey" she repeated, placing a marker in the book she was currently working through.

"I just wanted to let you know I finished." Clarke nodded looking down at the bed, nervously fidgeting with the end of her sleeve. 

“Clarke, I’m so sorry…”

Clarke shook her head finally lifting her eyes to meet his “ you have nothing to be sorry for.” His eyes filled with tears he shook his head solemnly, he looked down at the floor in shame. “I told you to go, all I’ve ever wanted was you” she finishes her sentence just a fraction of a second longer than it should have taken, “safe. So if that meant you had to leave me behind then so be it, because you wouldn’t be here right now if you didn’t.” 

“I just wish things could be different,” he said delicately.

“Me too” she whispered back. They both sat in a comfortable silence until Clarke spoke again "You skipped day 698 like I asked you to right?" She asked already knowing the answer because if he had she knew that would be the first thing out of his mouth as soon as he entered her room. 

"Of course, you asked me not to, so I didn't"

"Thank you" she said genuinely.

He reached over and placed his hand on top of hers in comfort. "But Clarke whatever it is you can trust me." Clarke smiled at him knowing that was true, she could trust him with anything, but she just wasn’t ready to trust him with her heart.

Bellamy sat down in a huff, anger steaming off him. Clarke and him just got into a huge fight over- he doesn’t even know what. She had been distant all week ever since he had finished listening to all of her radio transmissions. One minute he’s asking why she’s been so detached lately and the next thing he knew they were screaming at each other and he was storming out feeling more confused than anything. 

_ “GOOD LEAVE IT’S WHAT YOU DO BEST!” Clarke shouted at his back as he turned to leave.  _

_ “WELL I LEARNED FROM YOU!” Bellamy yelled back from the hallway as he retreated to the control room. _

He stared down at the control panel when a thought crossed his mind. He searched through the archive of radio calls. He searched till he found the one she told him specifically not to listen to. He hesitated before pressing play knowing this was going behind her back but he was concerned for her, and that had to count for something. He needed to know why she had been pulling away from him, he didn’t care if she got angry with him.

_ "Bellamy, I don't know what to do"  _ she paused sniffling trying to gain control of her emotions. She always tried her hardest to sound strong when talking on the radio, in case by some miracle he could somehow hear her. She wanted to be strong for him. But sometimes it was hard to be strong all the time. __

_ "I...I just feel so alone I know I have Madi but I-" she paused again, taking in a shaky deep breath that could be heard through the radio. "Everything is just so hard. I keep having these nightmares of you dying, the rocket never made it to the ring or you guys couldn't get the oxygen working on time, or the algae farm didn't work and you starved. But no matter what you die and I can't do anything to stop it and I feel like I can't breathe. I wake up gasping for air. I haven't slept in three days scared that when I close my eyes, I'll have to watch you die over and over again.” _

_ She let out a sad laugh “God, the last thing I said to you was hurry. It of course wasn't what I was going to say but you had to go and interrupt me. It didn't feel like the right time but it never did; we were always at war or making impossible choices. We never had a moment to just take a breath. In all fairness I did interrupt you first, if that was even what you were going to say… I hope it was. She took another long deep breath realizing a sigh. “I know you're probably having fun on the ring and I'm just being a downer. I just really needed to tell you I… I love you; I’m in love with you and I needed to say it before I never got the chance, because it’s looking like I might never see you again. I promise if I do see you I'll tell you, and I’ll never stop telling you. Please just come back" _

By the time she was done speaking tears were freely flowing down Bellamy’s face. He looked up to see Clarke standing in the doorway looking like a deer caught in headlights.

"Clarke-" Bellamy choked out. She held up her hand, stopping him.

"You don't have to say anything I get it" she looked down at the floor swaying on her feet nervously. 

"No, Clarke you don't-" he paused trying to find the right thing to say, taking a deep breath he continued. "Why didn't you tell me? Like you said you were going to" he stepped closer to her with every word until they were inches apart.

"I was going to but everything got so hectic, and then I was going to tell you when we were by the fire but I chickened out and Then I was finally working up the nerve to finally say it” she paused her voice deflated in defeat finally raising her eyes to his “and then I saw you and Echo together. You looked happy and that’s all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I didn't want to be the one to get in the way of your happiness."

"Clarke you could never get in the way of my happiness, you're what makes me happy. How could you think for one second that I'm not completely in Love with you too?"

"I- Really?" She voiced her disbelief 

"Clarke, I have been in love with you since we were two scared kids sitting against a tree with the weight of the world on our shoulders, and I have loved you everyday since. Do you know how much it killed me to leave you behind? How much pain I was in every single day on the ring? Do you have any idea how- "

She cut him off by closing the small gap between them. He barely had time to react before her lips were on his. His arms wrapped tightly around holding her in place scared she might disappear, because this is everything he ever dared to dream about. She pulled back slightly which only caused his hold on her to tighten. He pressed his forehead to hers, smiling wider than he ever remembers. 

“What about Echo?” Clarke voice wavering.

Bellamy shook his head not believing she could ever think he could choose anyone but her. “Echo and I were over the moment I found out you were alive.” Clarke didn’t seem to need any more convincing he looks at her and then it’s not just one kiss anymore, she served forward claiming his mouth in another kiss. 

She kisses him again, tugging on his upper lip and holding him tight against her. She doesn’t even comprehend the fact that he’s Bellamy Blake and she’s Clarke Griffin and their names come along with more history between them then she knows what to do with. All she knows is that she doesn’t want to stop kissing him.

It still wasn’t evident if she dreamed this moment, but the feel of him pressed against her made her pray to everything and anything that this was real. Clarke kept sneaking looks at Bellmay’s face every time they came up for air and he looked absolutely wrecked. 

She still needed reassurance that this wasn’t a product of her imagination."Is this real?" She whispered against his lips in awe, her voice shaky.

“Yeah it is” he spoke tenderly. She smiled, she couldn’t help it, she leaned forward and kissed him again. His large hand reached up to cup her cheek as he moved his mouth against hers, going from tender to heated in mer seconds. He swiped his tongue sweetly along the seam of her lips until she sighed. He licked into her mouth, slow and hot, taking his time. His other hand pulled her impossibly closer. They both melted deeper into the kiss that increased in intensity every few moments.

Clarke curled her arms over his shoulders, tangling her fingers into his curls, she tugged on them and he retaliated by biting her lip. His arms moved to her hips lifting her up till her legs wrapped around him. He moved his mouth from hers to her throat. The moment his mouth connected to her skin, she released a breathy moan. Bellamy had a satisfied smirk the whole time he carried her to his room. He set her down gradually on the bed, his fingers plucked at the hem of her shirt, his rough knuckles scraping over the delicate skin of her stomach and she shivered in his arms.

Clarke obligingly lifted her arms above her head and Bellamy pulled her shirt off. His hands slipped up her back to toy with the clasp of her bra. Clarke sighed against his lips, kissing him lazily as he pulled her bra away and touched her, light drags of his fingers over all the new skin. Her eyes fell closed when he nosed into her hair, kissing her temple and then dropping his mouth to the sensitive little spot behind her ear. Her senses were on fire and she could feel everything, every touch, every taste, every kiss, every moan he released vibrating her skin.

Her hands slipped under his shirt needing to touch him. He pulled back slightly to lift his shirt over his head, throwing it next to hers. They both laid back till Clarke’s head hit the bed “Are you sure?” Bellamy breathed against her lips staring into her eyes

Her hand came to rest on his cheek, her thumb stroking back and forth slowly. She nodded her head “I love you.” His lips are on hers once again not being able to contain himself any longer. They both slipped out of the rest of their clothes, finally there were no longer barriers between them.

“Clarke…” Bellamy starts. He can’t finish what he wants to say because  _ damn _ she’s so beautiful and his brain is stuttering. The anticipation of this moment has both of them panting and quivering. Bellamy thinks his heart might beat out of his chest. He lines himself up with Clarke, slowly sinking into her.

“Oh god…” Clarke moans. Bellamy stops allowing her to adjust. “Bell…” 

Bellamy slowly moves again until he’s buried inside her. It takes Clarke’s breath away and she wants to bottle this feeling. Nothing has ever felt like this before. Bellamy pulls out and thrusts into her harder this time until her nails are digging into his back, then he starts up a rhythm that Clarke quickly settles into, lifting her hips slightly at each thrust. Clarke looks down and almost loses it at the sight of Bellamy inside her. She can feel him pulsing and her muscles tense around him. He buries his face in her neck kissing her there, while she tangles her fingers in his messy hair. This is the first time he has ever felt whole.


	3. I Thought the Only Way to Better Ways Was Through Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellarke just being all domestic like.

Bellamy woke to Clarke sleeping sound on his chest, her hair right under his nose so he could inhale her scent. His finger lazily training up and down her arm. He had never felt more content in his entire life. Clarke let out a moan singling she felt the same. Bellamy leaned down to press his lips to her head. “I want to hold you in my arms forever” Bellamy spoke sleepily. 

“I love you” Clarke whispered before pressing a kiss to his chest. Bringing a smile instantly to Bellamy’s face. 

“I love you too” he spoke smoothly, his finger playing with strands of her hair.

“We should probably get up,” Clarke said but not moving, digging her face into the crook of His neck.

“Why do you have somewhere to be that I don’t know about” Bellamy smirked wrapping his arm around her, keeping her in place. 

They laid in a peaceful silence both feeling safe and warm and more at home than ever before. Clarke finally spoke before Bellamy could drift back to sleep with a content smile on his face. “I should have said something sooner, we wasted so much time.” She softly traced patterns on his stomach as she talked.

He craned his neck kissing her head again. “Now we have all the time in the world to just… live. Just you and me no more wars or impossible choices we finally have the time to breath” he voiced; hoping she didn’t mind him referencing her much earlier words. 

His hand reached under her chin tilting her head so she was looking at him. He moved his hand to her face slowly caressing her cheek with his thumb. “I want to spend eons with you Clarke Griffin” he leaned down pressing his lips to hers. They both settled back to their original position both falling asleep with peaceful smiles on their faces.

The next time Bellamy woke up he was alone, the bed felt cold and empty without Clarke. He shoved the blanket off of him, swinging his legs over the side of the bed rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He stood and walked over to the bathroom turning on the shower.

Once dressed Bellamy walked towards the mess hall in search of Clarke. He smiled when he found her in the corner drawing in her sketchbook, she quickly glanced up at him when she finally noticed his presence but had to do a double take when she noticed his lack of facial hair. She smirked “you shaved.” 

“Yeah, thought it was about time for a change” he spoke as he walked over to sit down next to her. 

“It looks good” she ran her hand over his now smooth cheek. He took advantage of their position and leaned over and pressed a kiss to her lips.

“Much better, not so itchy” she teased once they separated. He let out a small chuckle turning his attention to her lap. “What are you drawing?” He questioned gesturing to her sketchbook.

“You.” She said simply. “I used to draw you over and over, terrified I’d forget your face” he squeezed her hand reassuringly knowing it was painful for her to talk about.

“Why are you still drawing me? I’m right here, and we’re never going to be separated again.

A small smile forming on her lips “Because you’re still my favorite person to draw.” Her smile faded “and you can’t know that for sure.”

He nodded sadly “you’re right, but I can promise I’m always gonna fight like hell to get back to you.” Clarke scooted closer leaning in, Bellamy meeting her half way  _ he would never get used to being able to kiss her. _

Bellamy stood up holding his hand out for Clarke “come on, I want to show you something” she slid her sketchbook off her lap setting it next to her. She took his hand with a big smile already on her face. He pulled her up, interlacing their fingers together as they walked. 

He escorted her to the control room, dragging the chair that sat at the control panel over to the window that out looked deep space. Bellamy sat down gesturing for Clarke to take a seat on his lap which she happily obliged. Now that they are seated Clarke looks out the window and immediately sees what Bellamy wanted to show her; Meteors flying by.

Clarke used to love watching meteor showers with her father on the ark, which Bellamy knew. She told him recently over breakfast one morning, they like to tell each other small details about their lives from before they knew each other.

They sat in silence watching content with just being in each other’s company. The Meteor shower was about over, Bellamy listened to the sound of Clarke breathing because that’s something he will never take for granted.

“It’s weird, having so much time to just… be, it’s peaceful” Bellamy hugged Clarke closer to him.

Clarke quirked her eyebrow in confusion “what about the six years you spent in space?” She spoke in a teasing tone.

“Maybe for the others but for me I spent every single second up there in agony. I left you behind to die.” He paused taking in an uneasy deep breath “I learned real fast that I couldn’t live with that. For the first year I was a total mess, but then I could see how worried everyone else was, I just got better at hiding it.” He sighed playing with the ends of her hair nervously.

“They all would tell me how happy they were that I was okay, when I was anything but. All I could think was Clarke would have seen right through my Bullshit lies, and everything would come rushing back. But I knew I had to be strong, use my head instead of my heart like you told me to” He let out a small chuckle trying to bring the lightness back in the room. “So no I wouldn’t call the six years I spent in space peaceful” he looked down at her lap avoiding her eyes. 

“Hey” her hand came to rest on his cheek tilting his head to look at her. “I’m right here” she reassured him.

“And I’m thankful for that everyday” he surged forward capturing her lips needing to feel closer to her. He pulled her closer, his mouth moving against hers, hungry and intense. Clarke shifted so she was straddling him “I need you” his voice low and desperate, pupils dark with need. 

His hand fisted her hair as Clarke wrapped both arms around his neck, hands playing with his curls. He pulled his lips away bringing them to her neck, Clarke let out a small giggle in response “that is my favorite sound in the world” his voice vibrating against her neck.

His lips came back up to crash into hers and her hands started tugging at his shirt. Bellamy realized what she was doing and quickly pulled it over his head. Once he threw his shirt on the floor, he enveloped her face between his hands as his tongue plunged into her mouth.

They frantically undressed, his mouth seemed to be everywhere. He left marks all over her chest and throat. He was naked and hot below her “I’m right here” she whispered against his lips. Bellamy lined himself up with her entrance and she slowly sank down on to him. 

His hands coming to her hips, she moved slowly at first then speeding up creating a nice rhythm. She closed her eyes basking in the feeling of him deep inside her. She was close, so close, she began to grow sloppy, chasing it until she was there, crying out his name. He swore, squeezing her hips tighter, slamming up into her.

She held his gaze until it was too much, until she couldn’t keep her eyes open, throwing her head back; this time when she started to come, he came too. She slumped onto his chest after, boneless, his heart racing under her cheek. He kissed the top of her head, breath slowly evening out. “We should move this to the bed” Bellamy nosed at her damp with sweat hair.

Clarke let out a huff “I don’t think I can walk.” Bellamy smirked letting out a low chuckle. He stood slowly lifting Clarke with him, carrying her to their room. He placed her gently on the bed, guiding the blankets to cover her.

Hours later Clarke stirred, eyes opening slowly. She looked up to see Bellamy staring at her, his hand slowly stroking the side of her arm. “I didn’t mean to wake you, go back to sleep.” He whispered, tugging her closer to him.

“Is everything alright?” She questioned.

He pressed his lips to the top of her head “yeah everything’s fine”

“Bellamy” she groaned.

Bellamy let out a sharp laugh “see I told you, you would see right through my bullshit” he said grimly.

“Whatever it is you can talk to me.” He nodded knowing she wasn’t going to let it go. 

“Sometimes I wake up, and I’m terrified this is all a dream, that I’m still on the ark.” He paused “Sometimes I need the reminder you’re alive, that this is real.”

She grabbed his hand, placing it above her heart. “You feel that, I’m right here. This is real. Anytime you feel like this just feel my heartbeat and you’ll know, I’m here with you. Always.” Bellamy nodded leaning down to kiss her gently. “I love you.”

Bellamy looked up from the book he was currently working through when he heard Clarke let out a quiet snore, a smile instantly appeared on his face. He folded the page to keep his spot setting the book on the table next to the bed. He stood up walking towards the bathroom sneaking one last glance at Clarke before he walked in and turned the water on. He discarded his boxers before stepping under the water. 

Clarke woke to the sound of the shower running, she smirked before sitting up, she stretched and let out a long yawn then stood, heading for the bathroom. She pulled Bellamy’s shirt over her head, opening the shower door stepping inside. She wrapped her arms around him from behind, he laid his hands on top of hers. He spun around interlocking both their hands slowly.

Clarke smirked “mind if I join you? Bellamy leaned his forehead against hers slowly nosing at her cheek. They spent the next twenty minutes lazily shampooing each other's hair, laughing as they smear suds on the other. 

Bellamy turned the shower off grabbing a towel, wrapping it around Clarke, before grabbing a towel of his own and wrapping it around his waist. He turned to Clarke, his lips tilting up at the sight of her. He reached up tucking a strand of wet hair behind her hair. “A full year of just you and me.”

“Is it bad to say, best year of my life?”

“No, I feel the same way” he whispered pulling her into his embrace, pressing his lips to her damp hair. “I love you.” He whispered into her ear. 

He released her, dropping his towel and slipping on his boxers; following her out of the bathroom. Clarke opened a drawer pulling out a bra and underwear, discarding her towel and slipping them on. She smirked as she felt Bellamy’s eyes lingering on her. Before she could turn around she felt his arms wrap around her, he placed a lingering kiss to her shoulder. “You hungry?”

“Starving” she replied playfully. 

He kissed her cheek “I’ll go get us some breakfast.” Clarke nodded, continuing to get dressed as he walked away.

  
  


Clarke walked into one of the other rooms searching for an extra shirt; she stopped when her eyes caught on something sticking out from under the bed slightly. She kneeled down onto her hands and knees, pulling it out from under the bed she smiled excitedly. 

She walked into the mess hall to find Bellamy “I have a surprise for you”

Bellamy beamed up at her clearly amused “oh, is that so?”

“Mmhmm” she held out her hand to lead him to his surprise. He laughed, grabbing her hand. 

When they stood outside the door to their room Clarke stopped and turned to face Bellamy “close your eyes” he hesitated rolling his eyes before shutting them.

She opened the door leading him until he was facing the table in the corner of the room. “Aaannnddd… open,” he did as he was told, opening his eyes “ta da.” He looked down to what she was gesturing to, to see a typewriter “you said you always wanted to write, so when I saw this I thought maybe you could.”

Bellamy looked over at Clarke smiling, he leaned down pressing a delicate kiss to her lips. “I love you.” 

Her eyes lit up, like they do every time he says that, “I love you too.”

“So, what should I write about?”

Clarke smirked, wrapping herself around his arm “Whatever the hell you want.” She teased leaning her head on his shoulder. “Come on let's go back and eat. While you decide on what to write.”

Bellamy sat across from Clarke in the mess hall slowly slurping away at a bowl of algae while she sketched quietly, as he contemplated what to write about. “What are you drawing?” He questioned curiously. 

A soft smile on her face as she answered “my dad.”

He nodded “can I see?” She turned her sketchbook around to face him. Bellamy stared his mouth slightly open, a little caught off guard. “I met him once.” Bellamy said surprising both of them.

Clarke let out a small gasp “What?”

“I didn’t know he was your dad, I’ve never seen a picture of him before. I usually gave most of my food to Octavia. I didn’t want her to ever know what it felt like to be hungry. When I was about eleven, I ran into a man, who I now know was your dad. He could tell I was hungry and he got me a meal. I never saw him again, but when I think of the kind of man I want to be I think of him.”

Clarke had tears streaming down her face by the time Bellamy was done telling his story. It meant so much to her that Bellamy looked up to her father. “He would have really liked you” Clarke choked out. Bellamy grabbed her hand from across the table stroking it with his thumb soothingly.

“You think so?” Clarke nodded

  
  


Bellamy wanted to do something nice for Clarke since she found him the typewriter. And He knew he had found what he was looking for the moment his eyes landed on it. He was rummaging through a cabinet, his mind completely forgetting what he was looking for in the first place, when he spotted the chess board and bag of pieces. Bellamy smiled to himself picking up the game and making his way towards Clarke. 

“Happy Birthday” Clarke smiled clearly amused, looking up at Bellamy. but her eyebrows pinched in confusion. “It’s not my birthday. In fact, we have no idea what day it even is.”

He waved her off “one of these days” Clarke laughed, finally looking down to see what Bellamy placed on the table in front of her; causing a gasp to escape her “is that chess?” 

Bellamy nodded “you told me how you liked to play with Wells on the Ark, so I thought you could teach me.”

Clarke nodded excitedly, starting to arrange the pieces. “I haven’t played since before I got locked up on the Ark.” She went through the pieces with him, including hints about the importance of each one, and explained the object of the game. He listened intently and nodded through her explanation; when they started to play, he caught on very fast. He was good, really good.

“I hate that you’re good at this” she admitted. 

He laughed at her “why?”

“Because you’re good at everything, and you don’t have to take a year to move” she teased him innocently. 

“You have no patience, princess. It’s called thinking.”

“It’s called growing old waiting for you to take your turn” she giggled. “What?” She asked upon seeing the odd look on his face.

“That sounds perfect.” 

Her eyebrow raised in question “What does?”

“Growing old with you.” He sighed happily.

“Mmm, that does sound pretty great.” She hummed softly. Sliding over to sit next to him giving him a passionate kiss. She slowly pulled away gently pulling his lip with her teeth seductively. She got up with her hips swaying back and forth and she slowly walked towards the door, pulling her shirt over her head. She threw it onto the ground and turned back to him, making his mouth go dry. 

She gave him a smirk “you coming or not?”

He nodded eagerly lunging towards her causing a delightful squeal to erupt from Clarke. Her giggles echod off the walls as she races down the hall to their room, hot on her heels. He reaches her just as she passed the threshold, taking her in his arms. She bounces on the bed when he throws her down, her hands clenched his shirt pulling him down to meet her lips. 

She reached over grabbing the bottom of his shirt pushing it up over his head and onto the ground. With a lick of her lips, she lays back on the bed to pull her jeans down while he kicks his pants off. She lays resting on her elbows in nothing but her underwear and bra staring at him eyeing her with lust. He kneeled onto the bed and crawled between her legs; her chest started to heave and he kept his eyes on her while he reached out to grab her leg, bringing her ankle to his lips causing her to whimper. 

His lips dragged up her leg softly, in such a slow agonizing pace, that by the time he reached her center, he could practically smell her arousal. He reached up pulling her underwear down her legs throwing it over his shoulder. Clarke’s back arched off the bed and Bellamy let out a deep groan at the taste of her. 

His tongue laps up her wetness before he circles around her tight nub while she pants and when he looked up, the sight of her could have killed him on the spot. She stops him causing a confused look to cross his face “I need you inside me.” Her voice sounded as wrecked as he felt.

He nodded slowly kissing his way up her body stopping to reach behind her unclasping her bra. He quickly latches his lips onto her nipple and she whimpers. He bites back a moan while he falls against her chest, her tongue poking out to lick his lips, and he lines himself up at her entrance.

Her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, giving him the opening he needed as he slowly pushed into her warmth. Their moans mingle together, he pulled back only to sink himself back into her. His pace starts to pick up, their hips slapped together in hard thrusts causing her to moan loudly in his ear. 

Her hands go to his chest and before he knew what was happening, she pushed him until he’s on his back and sinking herself down onto him. She starts a slow pace, both of them panting and moaning at the feel of each other. He meets her thrust for thrust his hands fall to her sides.

His tongue dragged across his bottom lip as he watched her move over him, her cheeks were flushed and there was a thin layer of sweat shimmered across the skin on her face, her eyes were closed, her lips were parted in pleasure. 

Suddenly he felt as if she was too far away, and sat up, he wrapped his arms around her waist. She let out a gasp at the new angle and he moved his head to suck at the sweet spot on her neck. 

Their cries of pleasure fill the room as she tightens and he explodes. Their entire bodies were vibrating, her walls quivered around him as they both came down from their high. Panting, he collapsed back onto the bed, pulling her down with him.

After a couple of moments Bellamy spoke “Is this the only way you could stop me from beating you at chess?” He teased.

She scoffed “you weren’t going to beat me.”

“Then why did we stop?” Clarke rolled her eyes as she slipped out of bed. She leaned down to pick Bellamy’s shirt up off the ground slipping it over her head, continuing to the bathroom.

Bellamy shook his head a smile on his face, his hand reached under the blanket in search of his boxers slipping them back on. He reached over to the table beside him grabbing a book. His eyes lifted from the page when Clarke emerged from the bathroom staring unapologetically at her legs her whole walk to the bed. She laid down beside him grabbing her sketchbook and a pencil. His hand stroked her leg, he leaned over pressing a kiss to her cheek “I love you.” He whispered before returning to his book.


	4. There is Something Between us and it is the Most Beautiful Thing I Have Ever Felt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short

Bellamy laid in bed book in hand, Clarke next to him pencil rapidly moving back and forth. He glanced over to see a look of concentration plastered on her face. A light smile growing on his lips,  _ god he loves this woman. _

__ Her pencil comes to an abrupt stop "What's wrong?" Bellamy asked his voice laced with concern upon noticing the look on Clarke’s face. She shook her head rapidly, her hand quickly coming up to cover her mouth. Her other hand speedily unraveling herself from the blankets. In a flash she was rushing to the bathroom. Just in time she made it to the toilet emptying all the contents of her stomach. She felt her hair being pulled away, Bellamy's hand rubbing her back soothingly. 

After dry heaving for a few more minutes she releases the toilet from her tight grasp. Bellamy sat against the wall holding his arm open for her to lean into him. She slowly slid into his arms laying her head on his chest.

“Are you okay?” Bellamy asked, softly petting her head to soothe her.

She nodded against him “yeah, I think it must have been a bad batch of algae, or something."

"Are you sure that's it? Because I ate it too, and I feel fine." He questioned

"Maybe I'm just coming down with something" she considered. Bellamy nodded, tugging her closer to press a delicate kiss to her head.

They laid there on the floor till Bellamy heard the sound of Clarke softly snoring. The sound of her sleeping peacefully put a small smile on his face; but his forehead was still creased in worry. He sighed trying to stop his mind from coming up with all the worst case scenarios, seeing that Clarke and him were magnets for worst case scenarios. Bellamy carefully detangled himself from Clarke, pulling her in his arms to carry her to their bed. 

Once Clarke was settled against his chest Bellamy closed his eyes trying to get at least some sleep; but his mind was racing too fast. He sighed running his hand over his face, he pulled Clarke closer listening to the soft sound of her breathing.

A week later Clarke was still not any better, and Bellamy still wasn’t sleeping. Bellamy was sitting on the edge of the bed when Clarke emerged from the bathroom; a smirk formed on her lips as she strutted towards him. She climbed onto his lap, her hands coming to rest on both his cheeks. “Hi,” she whispered, her forehead coming to rest on his.

A smile of his own growing on his face “hi, princess” he whispered back. She pulled back stroking her thumb over his cheek, her face growing serious “you need to stop worrying about me and get some sleep” she felt like she was going to cry looking at the bags forming under his eyes. He looked so tired and she couldn’t help but feel responsible. 

He looked down at the floor “easier said than done” he spoke more to himself then her. She slipped off of him grabbing his hand in hers, “come on.” She pulled him up and over to the side of the bed, pulling the blanket back. She laid down dragging him with her, she laid his head on her chest and he fell asleep listening to the soft lull of her heartbeat.

When he woke up the first thing he noticed is that Clarke was awake, staring at the ceiling with an odd look on her face. “Aren’t I supposed to be the one awake at all hours worrying” Bellamy joked. Clarke didn’t move her brow, only creasing further.

“Hey, are you alright?” he asked gently, growing more serious.

She turned to him smiling reassuringly “yeah, fine. I was just thinking.” he brought his hand to rest on her hip, his thumb slowly stroking her side.

“About what?” He prompted her to continue lightly. Her hand came to rest his cheek “I’m… I’m scared” she whispered tears glistening her eyes.

He shook his head “don’t be, whatever it is we’ll face it together.” He spoke confidently. 

She sat up, looking anywhere but him, he followed, resting his hand on her back.“I think I know why I’ve been sick.” he nodded, signaling her to continue; bracing himself for whatever she’s about to say. “I’m pregnant” she breathed out a hopeful smile planted on her face, finally turning to face him. For all the things he thought she was gonna say that wasn’t one of them. His lips were on hers before she could even comprehend what was going on. His eyes were filled with tears when he pulled away a smile lighting up his entire face. 

“A baby” he spoke quietly in awe. 

“You’re okay with this?” she whispered apprehensively.

“Of course Clarke, nothing would make me happier.”

Clarke beamed up at him “we’re gonna be a family.” Bellamy rested his forehead against hers, “we already are princess.”

  
  


They fell back asleep, curled up together. Bellamy was still having trouble wrapping his head around the whole thing; Clarke was  _ pregnant. _ Pregnant with their child. He can’t help to feel nervous and scared, but he can’t help also feeling wonder. Sheer amazement, that his child - that their child - I inside her right now. He can’t help but feel hope for their future.

  
  
  


Bellamy was sleeping peacefully beside a wide awake Clarke. “It’s hard to sleep with all that thinking you’re doing” Bellamy broke the silence startling Clarke. 

“Sorry, go back to sleep; you need it”

“Not until you tell me what's bothering you, if it’s-”

“No, no that’s not what the problem is at all” she cut him off before his mind could jump to any more conclusions. “I’m happy about the baby. I never thought..I didn’t think I could have this you, kids, happiness. And I am, happy. I’m just worried about Madi. What if she thinks I;m replacing her” Bellamy was quick to shake his head.

“Just because you are having a baby doesn’t mean you’ll love Madi any less, and you'll tell Madi that and she’ll understand. Madi will be happy about the baby, she’ll be a great big sister. Everything is going to work out just fine.”

  
  


They were sitting up in bed, Clarke’s head resting in the crook of Bellamy’s neck. “Do you… do you think we would have met if the bombs never went off and we grew up on earth, lived a normal life?” 

“I like to think that we would have” he kissed the top of her head, breathing in her scent. He squeezed his eyes shut hoping he would never need to remember what she smelled like, because she would always be right there beside him. He doesn’t like to think of any possible universe in which he doesn’t know Clarke Griffin.

“What would you have wanted to be if you were born then?” 

He paused thinking about it for a second before answering “a history teacher probably, maybe a cop. What about you?

“Maybe a doctor, or an artist.” She pulled away just enough to face him “your wife.”

He let out a laugh “you already are all those things.” The smile she gave him was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen, it was breathtaking. They both leaned in meeting in the middle. She leaned back against him, his arms came around her resting where their child lay. 

He tilted his head so his lips rested on her shoulder, his eyes on her stomach, his thumb soothingly stroking her belly. 

  
  


Clarke stared out the window into vast space, her face pinched together in a frown, mind racing. She felt Bellamy’s arms wrap around her too preoccupied to notice him approaching. He let out a sigh when his hands found her 5 month pregnant stomach, he placed a lingering kiss to her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

She turned around in his arms “I’m just thinking about what happens when everybody wakes up and we have to go down to a planet that nobody knows anything about.” She hesitates taking in a deep breath “It’s just been so nice, peaceful, nothing to worry about. And now with the baby how are we supposed to keep the baby safe” she was almost at the point of hysterical.

“Hey,” he said calmly, placing both of his hands on her cheeks. “Hey look at me, nothing is going to happen to the baby.”

She shook her head, tears rapidly streaming down her face, “You can’t promise that.”

“You’re right I can’t. But I can promise that I will fight until my last breath to keep you and the baby safe. And we don’t know what’s going to happen but we can take everything as it comes, we will figure it out together.” He pulled her into him as she nodded against him. 

“We're safe here, the baby’s safe here, I’m just scared that everything will change, that we won’t be able to protect our baby” she sniffled, he soothingly stroked her back. 

She let out a startled gasp, causing Bellamy’s eyes to fill with worry. She pulled his hand to her belly, his hand large covering her whole stomach. The baby kicked again, and Bellamy felt it. He couldn’t help but beam at it in wonder. His smile seemed to calm Clarke down. 

Bellamy gave Clarke a smirk consumed with this sudden desire “Dance with me”

She released a small chuckle “What? But there’s no music”

“I don’t care, I want to dance with you” he smiled grabbing her hand and spinning her. She let out a loud giggle and all her worries subsided. He pulled her against him gently swaying his forehead coming to rest on hers. “I’m really glad you're my best friend” he whispered softly, catching her off guard by spinning her again. “Easy there precious cargo and all” she laughed. He looked down at her words both his hands coming back to rest on her stomach he smiled “I love you”


	5. Not Much Has Changed... Well Except For Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone wake up and a certain someone isn't very happy to find out about Bellamy and Clarke new arrangement

Clarke looked down at her producing stomach, her lips switched upward on instinct thinking about the baby growing inside her.  _ Bellamy’s baby _ . Bellamy’s hand came and rested just above her belly button. “Have you thought of any names?” She questioned placing her hand on top of his. 

He shook his head “No, have you?” He leaned down kissing her shoulder.

She hesitated “I was thinking if it's a girl we could name her Aurora, after your mother.” He froze causing her to back track “we don’t have to... I just thought if you wanted to.” 

He pulled back to look at her tears in his eyes “that would mean so much to me.” He slammed his lips against hers. “God, I love you.” 

Clarke sunk into his side sliding down the bed until her head was resting in the crook of his neck. He could feel her smiling against him before pressing a soft kiss to the side of his jaw. He smiled to himself before returning to his book.

She silently basked in the feeling of being completely consumed by his love. If she knows one thing in life it’s that she loves him with every ounce of her being. She poked his side. “Read it aloud.” He chuckled, wrapping his arm around her pulling her closer to him starting to read the story out loud. 

  
  
  
  


“I finished.” Bellamy said proudly practically running into their room, plopping down onto the bed. Clarke smiled clearly amused at how excited he was

“Do I finally get to know what it’s about?” 

“It’s about us.” Bellamy admitted. Clarke gasped, taking the makeshift book from his hands. “It starts at the beginning of our story till now.”

“Can I read it?” She questioned finding herself feeling just as giddy as him.. 

“Of course” she opened the book giddily turning to the first page. Bellamy laughed at how excited she was, and pulled out the book he’s been working through to distract himself. 

he hadn’t turned a page in at least twenty minutes, rereading the same line over and over. None of it is sticking in his brain. He’s too nervous about Clarke’s reaction to his book. 

His head lifted up at the sound of her snorting in disbelief. She turned to him “when you first saw me I did not take your breath away”

“Nothing I put in there is a lie” she shook her head still not believing him. “If you really felt this way, then why were you such an asshole?”

“My first and only priority was keeping Octavia safe. The moment I saw you I knew I could fall for you and that would have distracted me from keeping Octavia safe. So I was a dick to you to keep you away. I have been in love with you for a long time and I will be for the rest of my life.” She leaned forward capturing his lips with hers.

“It’s strange to read about myself through your eyes,”

  
  
  


Clarke walked into the mess hall. She waited over an hour for him to come to bed; until she got up with a huff deciding to go look for him herself. Her eyes landed on Bellamy, a smile instantly taking place on her face at the sight of him; but dropped almost as quickly as it appeared upon seeing the worried look on his face. She walked over with a look of uneasiness of her own. She carefully maneuvered herself onto his lap wrapping her arms around him, resting her head in the crook of his neck. His hand instantly found her stomach. “What’s the matter?” she asked gently, her voice vibrating against his skin.

He shook his head, putting on a smile “nothing.” She sat up giving him a pointed look that told him she wasn’t buying it. “I was just thinking about how everyone is going to wake up soon and we’ll have to go down and explore the new planet.” He paused “Clarke I have to be one of the ones on the mission I have to see for myself that it’s safe for you, for the baby. But that means we’ll be separated again. And we’re always separated, and it’s always for a long time and i’m so sick of us being separated not counting the last two years I can’t remember the last time we were in the same place for very long and I’m just worried it will be like that again.”

“It’s not going to be. You’ll go down there find this beautiful, peaceful, survivable planet; and you’ll come right back up here we’ll have slutty reunion sex and then we’ll both go down together, have a whole bunch of kids, and live happily ever after”

He laughed, a genuine smile taking place on his lips. His face grew serious again, “you really believe that?”

“We’re still breathing aren’t we?” She whispered, playing with his curls.

He nodded bringing his lips down to hers “I’m just scared of losing this, losing us” his voice waved as he spoke. she shook her head vigorously “Never.”

He nodded cupping her cheek before smashing his lips on hers. He smirked at her “how many kids is a bunch?” He raised his eyebrow in question.

“How does ten sound?” she teased.

He breathed in deeply closing his eyes basking in the moment a small smile on his face. “Ten sounds perfect.”  _ And it really did. _

With a grunt she pulled herself off his lap stumbling a bit but he reached out straightening her. She held out her hand “come on let's go to bed” he nodded grabbing her hand soothing his thumb over the back before standing. “I love you” he pulled her to him, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. She melted into his touch letting out a sigh. “I love you too”

  
  


Bellamy's arms were wrapped around Clarke keeping her in place. "I need to get up, your child is currently sitting on my bladder" his grip on her only tightened at that.

"Nooo!" he groaned sleepily causing her to laugh, which only enhances the problem.

"I promise I'll come right back, and we can spend all day, tangled up in these sheets" He lets out another groan symbolizing his defeat lifting his arm, releasing her from his hold. 

"Right, like you won't have to pee another 80 times" he replies absently as he watches her slip his shirt over her head with a smirk on his lips. 

"Blame your child, not me." She stopped on her trek to the bathroom and turned back towards him "and maybe while I'm gone you could make yourself useful and go get us some food" she said smirking before continuing on her way and shutting the door behind her.

Bellamy huffs as he slipped out of bed in search of his pants "if you can call it that!" he yelled through the door.

He was midway through getting his pants on when the door burst open. Murphy strutted in with his brows raised high. "What are you doing here? Everybody's looking for you. Your pod was empty" before Bellamy could get a response out, the bathroom door opened to reveal Clarke in nothing but Bellamy's oversized shirt; which to be fair is the only thing she can seem to fit in these days.

Murphy's eyes kept going back and forth between the two of them; none of them saying a word. Until at last "Fucking finally. Come on everyone's looking for you guys, get dressed and meet us in the control room" Murphy said before exiting their room.

Clarke glanced back at Bellamy "so much for spending the whole day in bed" Bellamy's mouth tilted up at that. They both quickly dressed before heading to the control room to meet the others. The moment they walked through the door everyone went silent, their heads turned, eyes wide. Bellamy quickly glanced around the room at each of his friends. His eyes stopped on Murphy, who now sat in front of the controls in the only chair in the room. His eyes switched between him and Clarke who had leaned against the wall trying to help support her weight. 

"Get up." He said ordering more than suggesting. 

"In case you forgot, I was shot. The ten years we were asleep didn't do anything to really help with that" Murphy shot back.

"125 years actually," He ignored everyone's shocked faces at his confession. "And you got shot in the shoulder. That's the only chair and Clarke needs to sit down."

"Bell it's fine rea-" she tried to argue before his words cut her off. "It's not fine, I can tell you're in pain you've been having Braxton-hix nearly every day, so I would like you to sit down." He said calmly to her. His head turned back to Murphy waiting. Murphy let out a huff before standing up.

"Now that the princess has her chair, can you guys tell us what the hell is going on?" Murphy asked.

"how long have you two been awake? Because judging by the size of Clarke I would stay longer then a few hours" Raven questioned.

"Two and a half years." Clarke said looking up at Bellamy nodding slightly. Bellamy leaned over and played them all Monty and Harper video logs. 

"Okay, that explains everything else" Raven spoke still in tears from the loss of her friends hanging over all of them. She waved her arms around as she spoke. "But why are you guys awake?"

"Monty and Harper wanted to wake us up first, something must have gone wrong because he woke us up too soon. We tried going back into cryo, but our pods had to close manually meaning only one of us could go back to sleep. So ultimately, we decided we both would. We got the algae farm up and running and have been living here for the last couple years" Bellamy explained. 

"How long?" Echo finally spoke up. Bellamy's brows pinched together in confusion. "I just-" Bellamy started. 

"No, not how long have you been awake for" Echo said, cutting him off. "How long till you jumped into bed with her."

"Echo-"

"How long!" Echo demanded interrupting him once again; Both seem to be at a standstill, nobody around them daring to say a word.

Bellamy sighed running his hand through his hair. "Does it matter? It's not going to make any difference."

"I would like to know how long you've been cheating on me for" Echo requested, hurt clearly written across her face.

Bellamy looked around everyone staring at him awaiting his answer "Maybe we should talk about this when we're alone."

“No, I want to talk about it now" Echo pressed. Bellamy sighed knowing there was no way out of this one. "It's not like I could break up with you," he said softly, not trying to escalate the situation.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" Echo shot back. 

"No, but I don't know what you want me to say, and anything I do is only going to make you feel worse" Bellamy answered back, his hand coming up to run across his face in frustration.

Abby walked over to Clarke trying to change the subject “You should let me check you out” Clarke nodded, running her head over her belly. 

“Uhh, I know it’s a lot to process” Bellamy started, addressing everyone in the room. “Take an hour, meet in the mess. We need to game this out.” 

“Guys, we survived, Monty made sure of it,” Clarke added. They all nodded before separating.

Abby took Clarke to the makeshift med bay, Bellamy following closely behind. Abby hooked up the ultrasound machine that was on board. Abby moved the wand over Clarke’s stomach and looked to the screen “everything looks good, perfectly healthy.” Both parents let out a sigh of relief. “And here is your child’s heartbeat” Bellamy felt completely stressed with everything going on, but the moment the sound of his child’s heartbeat filled the room, everything else melted away. 

Bellamy grabbed Clarke’s bringing it to his lips and placed a feather light kiss. “Do you want to know whether it’s a boy or a girl?” Abby asked a big smile on her face.

Clarke nodded “I think we have enough uncertainty in our life.” 

“It’s a girl” Both had instant smiles on their faces. Bellamy leaned down placing a kiss on the top of Clarke’s head. He pulled back slightly “I love you”

Clarke wiped up her stomach and all three of them walked into the mess hall to see Echo, Murphy, and Emori sitting at the table solemnly each with a bowl of algae. Jordan Held out a bowl and Abby took it as a thank you passing her lips before she sat down herself. Raven and Shaw strutted in hand in hand “what’d we miss? Ravin asked as Jordan handed each of them their own bowl.

“Nothing,” Bellamy said starting his speech. “Okay everyone, listen up. Here’s everything we know, eligius is three was a colonizing mission according to the file the mother ship went to five planets that met the necessary conditions for life. Dropping mission teams on each one, Monty picked planet alpha because it was the closest and probably most like earth. Bottom line is we won’t know it’s survivable until we get there” He prayed and it was not for him and not for the rest of the people who sat here, but for his daughter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End... for now I do have plans for a sequel

**Author's Note:**

> I have big sequel plans! probably not for awhile but in the works.


End file.
